My Plant Medicine Journey

Last year, through a series of synchronistic happenings, the opportunity was presented to me to experience consciousness altering plant medicine. It was something I had thought about for several years, but back then I had not felt quite ready. But I had been feeling a lot more prepared for the experience in recent times leading up to the presentation of this opportunity. I had been feeling more positive, more relaxed and unafraid.

Somehow, the person I found the opportunity with seemed familiar to me, like I knew them. I sensed in my soul…I knew…that their energy was pure and well intentioned. I felt instantly at ease around them. I don’t always get that instant knowing every time I meet someone. (Although I am usually very sensitive to people’s vibes and energies, it isn’t always so instant).

The evening before I was set to travel, I began getting a little nervous. I started watching some videos on YouTube to find out what others had experienced. Some of them sounded a little bit scary. I decided to stop looking and drew my focus within for guidance. In my consciousness the following words came to me: “the type of message received depends on the receiver”.

The following day I sat and drank the brew, feeling completely relaxed. I didn’t feel that different right away. The effect was very mild. It was agreed that I would start with less rather than more, but top it up if and as needed. This is what happened, and eventually I did feel a stronger effect. It came over me gently, softly like nurturing waves, like the spiritual essence of a universal goddess. As I closed my eyes, feeling the urge to draw myself within, I felt safe, as if I was wrapped in a warm cosmic velour.

First I saw darkness. Like a void, but not a void. It was formless, but not empty. In the formless, apparent emptiness….was everything. A womb. Untapped potential.
Next I began to see silhouette type figures of a classical goddess shape, one imposed over the other, emanating outward from within the darkness. They appeared to be dancing, these voluptuous hour glass figured goddesses. Everything was black with a white outline, made up of tiny white photons.

The next thing I saw, illustrated by the white dots looked like a type of sea plant. It had long leafy bits that were swaying from side to side. It looked similar to a double torus, though not joined together on the bottom and top.

A series of other random images came into my mind, including cartoon type figures. I started to ask questions in my mind, calling out with my intent to my guide or a higher power. As I did so, I immediately heard/thought of the words in my mind: “Who are you asking? Ask yourself!”. I understood, instantly, that I didn’t need to be going outside of myself for guidance. It wasn’t necessary…all the answers I seek are within me.

I decided I would try to find out about my past lives. But something was blocking it. I contemplated the reasons for this blockage. Was there something I was afraid to learn? Maybe I was ashamed of something I had done? I prepared myself mentally for the possibilities. I decided I was ready for whatever was there. If it was something terrible then I would embrace it, forgive it. I saw a door with illuminated coloured squares on it, similar to a rubik’s cube but all white around the edges. I needed to go beyond the door. I said I was ready. With the will of my mind, I pushed the door open. Then I heard…not only heard but felt the words…as clear as crystal through the core of my entire being: “You hid your true power from yourself”. I felt myself at one with… completely connected to…the very source of everything….it was me. Words could never explain the feelings…the sense of knowingness.

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Other things began to show themselves to me, one of which was a meme I remembered seeing.
In my mind’s eye I understood, remembered an image I had seen. A circle within a square, and a triangle within the circle. Inside it were words from a book known as ‘The Kybalion’ by the three initiates. “While All is in THE ALL, it is equally true that THE ALL is in All”. Then I felt a voice saying “You are the all in all. There is no playing small”.

Somehow in the heart of my being was a sense of knowingness, so clear but impossible to describe with words alone.

Within in me I understood how and why the infinite ALL limited itself into finite forms…for only through form…through some kind of perceived boundary can anything take shape and allow for creative forces to take expression and to make a way possible for it to experience experiences.

I also saw some kind of force being created to help provide a challenge for consciousness, although I did not explore the nature of what it was exactly, in any great detail. The words I thought of to describe it were simply “a force…like some kind of program”.

I understood that this was all, in a way, like some kind of experiment. A place to allow consciousness to experience itself in a limited form, forgetting our true nature, dreaming a dream of ourselves as finite beings without unlimited power. How else could we ever truly understand who we are? How else could we ever create our own sense of individuality? Where else could we create the existence of such incredibly profound, wonderful, neverending variety? Creativity that never ends? An endless work of art…an endless galactic symphony…..

I understood that all the most evil, terrible injustices, cruelty and suffering…were never foreseen or intended but happened as a side effect/accident of the creation of this world…and of us as gods falling asleep within our own dream; creation.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I understood this. And I forgave myself for my own mistakes, simultaneously understanding and forgiving this on the universal, macrocosmic level.

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I became emotional, but the tears I shed felt good. It all made sense now. The way everything is….the world…my life…me…it all made sense.
The whole experience was too much to contain in just a few words.

Whenever I started to ask something as if asking something external to myself, I realised that I didn’t need to. I would always have access to any information I need. I needed nothing external. The power was in me, it always was, but I had hidden it. “Never forget!”
I felt so much joy. It was just incredible. I kept asking more as the night went on, and understood how things work in this world….there are different levels to consciousness. But all our limitations and suffering originated from this original intention…the hiding of our true power. Now the task is to bring back this awareness, to integrate it and merge it with our seemingly finite, co-created adventure.
It feels difficult here at times because everything seems to move so slowly in time. It feels difficult here at times because we are limited in our perspectives. But there is this power behind everything, a power we are all connected to and part of, even though we are separate at the same time. This means there is nothing to fear, nothing at all. Everything is going to work out, it will because it has to. We are infinite…and we do not intend to stay imprisoned.

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I would like to add that one of the other things I sensed and saw was that this method I was using to tune into my ‘innerstanding’ is just one method, and not for all.